Feeling unsure

Imagining Vuillard's Bouquet (oil on canvas 30 x 30cm)

The first few days of my weeks feel busy with life drawing, a visit to the care home and a morning in Ipswich at the refugee centre.  So even though I draw everyday, on Thursday mornings I can feel unsure.  It's not that I have a lack of ideas, it's more that I have at least two whole days stetching ahead and I don't remember where I was and what comes next.  It would be easy to do all the other things that I have neglected but I go into the studio and I begin. 

I was tempted to paint over something I had hoped I'd finished but I stopped myself.  It felt tight and joyless but I have a habit of painting over instead of waiting or solving a problem.  I was already frustrated and I hadn't even got my brushes out. I and then, sometimes when I feel like I can't paint, I can trick myself into painting and something simple and surprising appears.

Flowers On Orange Tablecloth (oil on canvas 40 x 40)

 

With my painting, I am trying to let the painting tell me what to do instead of recording what I see.  The painting on the bottom became the painting on the top.  I think it may change again...

Carnations, Christmas Beads and Smoking Jacket (pastel on paper 6 x 6cm)

And I continue to draw my beads.

Textile studies

Often I buy things for the pattern and colour.  I don't have expensive tastes, most of my shopping takes place in charity shops and car boot sales.  I know I will use them in a drawing at the least, so I gather stuff. 

My mother, Janice M Moss,  makes fabric beads with delicious patterns in luscious colours and I wear them most days.  People stop me and comment on their beauty. 

I often mention that the I find it tough to navigate between figurative and abstract and when I was thinking about what I wanted to do this year, one of the ideas I had was to draw and paint figuratively about textiles in a way that would create abstract designs.  I thought the necklaces might be a good place to start. 

The cloth under the necklaces this time is a vintage bathrobe and a Mexican shirt that has a tiny headhole that makes it impossible to wear.   The drawing really is this dark but what you can't see in the scan is that the ground was made with metallic pigment that shimmers, so the circles, which shimmer in real life shimmer in the drawing a bit too.

I loved making this drawing so will revist beads.

Begin again with what you know

It's my first day back to the rhythm of what I do. So I began with what I know very, very well. This is where I stand to prepare food and it is the place where outside and inside merges, where if I am lucky I see the owl fly, the moon rise, the night fall.  I got bogged down by local colour a bit… why do I do that? But I'm satisfied by the rhythm and that was what I wanted to find today.